Art Can Heal
Art has the ability to heal
That was something that I found out to be very true and have been using it as a tool to cope with many life obstacles for over the past decade.
When I found out that art can be used as a tool for mental health I was in the prime of my preteen years. I was your typical preteen, I was stuck in the middle of being a kid and an adult. When you are that age you are in such a hurry to grow up. I was going through puberty which I now believe that puberty is not only a physical change but an obvious mental change in state of mind. I believe that puberty is a symptom of society in that you figure out that the world is no longer centered around you and that it is actually a pretty messed up place to be. It's not the rainbows and puppies you once thought it was. Once coming to that realization you act out, you get angry and you get sad.
When I was going through that change I started to like boys and I opened my heart up to them and yes, like everyone goes through, I had my heart broken. In the past I would self harm, starve myself, cut my hair and do drugs. I would do anything to escape my sad existence. After a while I kind of figured out that those things would not help me, so I took to the paint brush. That is when I completed my first ever watercolor and named it "Humming Girl". It was a line drawing of girls and hands complete with a watercolor galaxy and humming bird (see my last post for my inspiration).
Well, after puberty and heartbreak life still wasn't a piece of cake. Shortly after, my best friend and grandmother Cheri passed away from complications from smoking. I was so torn apart, it all happened so fast. I was trying to graduate school and I was failing. I was living with my grandfather at the time and had to also be of support for him as well but things at home weren't that great. It wasn't easy and I began to fall into my old ways. Although I did stop doing drugs, I took up smoking cigarettes (my way of coping) which was one of the dumbest things I ever did, knowing that my grandmother died from it.
About two weeks after she passed I was sexually assaulted by a friend of mine. The assault took a huge toll on my physical and mental well being. I was scared to come forward because I felt ashamed and I also had a strange feeling of betrayal as the person was my friend, I still kind of cared for them. I did end up coming forward to the police and going to the hospital. They put me on medication to prevent diseases and I became very sick. I let it run it's course because I wanted my body to suffer, I wanted to hurt myself. I was near death before my grandfather brought me back to the hospital. I was given resources on ways to help cope after sexual assault and they referred me to the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center.
While attending the CRCC I was referred to the Art therapy Department. I took a few classes where we did mask making. The project was to create a mask and on the outside of the mask being what others see of you, and the inside of the mask being how you see yourself. I felt that the experience of doing something and putting my feelings out side of myself was very cathartic and I slowly began to feel the weight of my mental issues begin to melt away from me.
In the past, doing art was just something I did when I was going through something. I could only create when I was having a major life change. Now, I can create freely when I so choose. I actually feel like creating when I am feeling very happy! I just need a vision and a little motivation to help me along.
Now I have devoted my life to helping others use art as a tool to cope. I work with my immediate community providing free art classes. I even went to school to study Art therapy and now incorporate it into my lesson plans so that others can benefit from it just a well as I can.
My dream is that one day I will be a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist/Art Therapist and that I can one day impact the lives of the sexual assault survivors as was done for me.